Life Support - April/May Edition
By: Brite Moon
Britemoon.rising@gmail.com
Welcome to the first edition of Life Support. Every now and again we all need a
little assistance, a different perspective or even a breath of fresh air in
order to view our current situations through a different window.
My goal is to shed a little colored light on an otherwise gray or confusing
situation. Life happens, and to each of us differently, but I have learned that
though each is unique, an outsiders point of view is always helpful.
So, without further ado, let’s get started….
Dear Brite Moon,
I've recently been considering going through one of those credit counseling
services. I called and they gave me an estimate for my $8500 debt of credit
cards for a monthly payment of $249 for the next 4 years? Is this a good move?
I'm already 3-4 months behind my payments.
Signed,
Financially Strapped
Dear Financially Strapped,
Good for you for recognizing the situation for what it is. It sounds like you do need to move quickly and considering financial counseling seems like a giant step in the right direction. Be very careful though, do your research and pick a reputable company. This too is a commitment.
Most credit counseling services will offer you one of two options. The first option being debt consolidation and the second being debt settlement. These are two very different options with offer a number of different outcomes.
Debt consolidation is used in most cases to ease the stress of multiple payments and high individual interest rates by combining all of your debt into one payment each month. This is done by taking out a new loan for the amount of the consolidation. The credit counselor may attempt to work with your creditors to lower or eliminate the interest rate and additional fees associated with a delinquent account. By doing this, they can assist you in saving money on interest and helping to lower your monthly payment altogether. This option does not generally impact your credit score as drastically as just not paying your bills or by opting for debt settlement.
Debt settlement is a little different. This option will generally lower your financial obligation to your creditors, sometimes as low as 50 cents to the dollar or half of what you owe. When you settle your accounts through a counseling service, you are usually set up to pay that service directly. Take note, this option will decrease your credit score.
In most cases, you will already need to be delinquent in payments to your creditors and during the settlement process, your accounts will not be paid or brought current. This option will give you the opportunity to eliminate your debt altogether if you are able to bide by the rules of not using any additional credit while in the program and eliminate using credit resources with any of your existing creditors.
There are pros and cons with each of these options, but there is a solution with both as well. I would definitely suggest calling a few services first and ask lots of the same questions. Figure out the differences in the programs offered by each company and go with the one that best suites your financial situation.
Keep in mind that you did not create your credit issues overnight so they
will not disappear overnight either. Be patient and be knowledgeable but
continue to be proactive to reach your goal of financial freedom.
Dear Brite Moon,
I have been dating a woman long distance for a while. Unfortunately, the time
apart has caused the relationship to sizzle. I still have interest in her and I
really think we can work out in the end. What are some things I can do to keep
her interested in me?
Signed,
Long Distance Lover
Dear Long Distance Lover,
Keeping the sizzle in any relationship can be hard, but long distance relationships can be double the trouble.
One of the first things you can do is take advantage of the resources you have at your disposal. The telephone, the internet and the good ole US Postal Service can come in quite handy when distance is keeping the two of you apart. The greater the distance the greater the effort!
First, make sure to keep in touch often. Treat the relationship like any other, as if she were only a few miles away. Constantly talking about how much you miss someone and not being able to do anything about is a mood killer. Keep it light and comfortable. Remember to get in your “Good Morning” text messages from time to time and an “I’m thinking of you” here and there would not hurt either.
Not being able to be in the same place at the same time as someone does not mean that you cannot still date them. Create date nights. You can still do dinner and a movie. The internet is a great way to coordinate those romantic evenings without even leaving the house. If you feel like staying in, why not check the major TV networks for movie listings and coordinate a time to watch together. On Demand is a great choice for just this reason. If you want to throw in dinner, you can order a pizza and have it delivered to her house or even call her favorite food spot and have it delivered or ready for pick up. A lot of franchise businesses that deliver take credit card payments over the phone or you can place your delivery order over the internet. The surprise knock at the door will definitely give you kudos for creativity.
Speaking of the internet, email is a great way to express all those mushy feelings. Don’t overdo it, but send her one every now and then letting her know how you feel and what you want to see happen with the relationship. This way she can read how you feel anytime she wants instead of just hearing you say it over the phone.
Be sure to utilize the post office. It may seem a bit old fashioned with all of today’s technology but send her something in the mail. Cards are wonderful, especially when you take the time to find one that really fits your situation. Also, flowers!
Lastly, make plans to see each other and stick to them. Reinforce your bond
in person. I cannot stress enough how important a hug and a kiss can be to
someone who cares about you. Without that feeling to hold onto, it may be easier
to lose interest or for that person to seek it out from someone they can see on
a more consistent basis. BE REMEMBERED!
Dear Brite Moon,
I am always interested in meeting new people but the club scene has gotten old
to me. I don’t feel like anyone I meet there will share my quiet nights at home
personality. Any suggestions on where I can meet someone who is more my style?
Signed,
Quietly Searching
Dear Quietly Searching,
I feel you on this one, as I too am not huge on searching for a mate in the
club. If you are the type that likes to get out I would suggest going to your
favorite places to look for someone with similar interests. Something as simple
as a visit to a book or video game store (if that’s your thing) could bring
about a chance meeting with your next book buddy or Mission Impossible partner
in crime.
If you’re a sports nut or you enjoy going to shows or concerts these types of
events will always give you something to talk about with someone who catches
your eye. You just have to take the initiative and do the footwork.
These days, it’s hard not to meet people on the internet. You could close your eyes and pick from the numerous meet-and-greet sites. Though it has its pros and cons, internet meetings leave out a certain awkwardness that goes along with face-to-face encounters.
No matter which direction you choose to go, be safe about your approach. Have
fun and be open. Do you like to cook? You never know, you could meet the love of
your life in the produce section of the grocery store.
Life Support….help before the emergency.
If you’d like to see your question in the next edition, send me an email to
britemoon.rising@gmail.com.
No subject is off limits and you can remain anonymous.