Ravolution
2008
By: Charese McLean-Davis
reseydavis@excapethematrix.com
It’s closing in. With every moment I’m reminded of its presence…that never ending, pulse charging, head spinning feeling. What’s the pounding about? IT’S PRESSURE!
I feel a constant sense of pressure that doesn’t seem
to ever leave. I feel pressure at work, pressure to be a good wife, pressure to
be a good mother, pressur
e
to be a good daughter, pressure to be a good friend (see my article regarding
text messaging!). PRESSURE! Man, there’s no space in my mind to consider what
my life would be like if I had no one to answer to. Oh, and my life without
editing deadlines, now there’s a laugh…but not really since I’m past deadline as
I write this *blank stare*. (Somewhere, 3000 miles away, Raven is tapping his
fingers and raising his eyebrow - the right one, to be specific.) Chop chop!
“What I want to
learn to do is exhale more frequently.”
Last year my Ravolution was to take in each moment and realize my very existence. I can honestly say that I’ve done that. However, sometimes that has come at a cost. I’d sit alone and focus on my breathing, only to be reminded that I don’t have much time to be doing this mess when I could be doing something substantial like…say, nothing! Often, I’d feel the pressure of my everyday life creeping up into my moments of meditation. What in the blankety is that? That’s ridiculous, that’s what!
So…this year will take me to a new place. Better yet,
I will take myself to a new place. I want to focus on my existence, but
realize that pressure is not the boss of me. I mean, I’m great under pressure,
but it feels horrible! What I want to learn to do is exhale more frequently.
Sometimes that will mean saying no to my need for perfectionism. At other
times, I will have to say no to requests, no matter how badly I want to give it
a go. The sense of obligation that sometimes follows me is not my
friend. It’s not even an acquaintance. Shoot, I don’t even need to be cordial
with it!
“I feel a constant sense of pressure that doesn’t seem to ever leave.”
Yes, it’s true: I’m every woman and it’s all in me. But it’s also true that while I’m a lot of woman, I’m not enough to divide the pie. So I’ll wrap myself up in me, acknowledging that I deserve to breathe.
Bring on 2008. Bring on the exhaling.